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Thursday, April 30, 2009

In the News: April 30, 2009

Man tries to rob dry cleaners with sword

World's worse ninja...

"Police said a man dressed liked a ninja used a sword in an attempt to rob a Weymouth dry cleaner. According to police, a convenience store clerk called police Monday after she noticed a man walking into the store wearing a ski mask and a sword in a sheath on his belt. Police said that when the man noticed her, he pulled his mask off and asked whether she was calling about him. When she said she was, the man left the store and walked into nearby Galaxy Cleaners. There, he pointed a sword at the register and asked a clerk to give him all of the money, police said. He left after she told him she couldn't open the drawer. Police are still searching for the man, who witnesses said appeared to be in his late 20s. (AP)" (Link)

Does Beer (Goggling) Affect Whom We Find Attractive?

Just a little creepy...

"The creepy part has to do with how all people, not just drinkers, rate the attractiveness of minors. Researchers have known for years that adults have a deep appreciation for neoteny, the retention of juvenile features like large eyes and baby-smooth skin in adults. Our fondness for neoteny is both obvious — most people find other people with youthful features to be attractive — and unsettling. Appreciating neotenic features isn't the same as being sexually attracted to children, but at least one study has found that average, college-age heterosexual males and child molesters share remarkably similar (and deeply neotenic) attractions: high cheekbones, unwrinkled eyes, glabrous skin."

"Surprisingly, drinking had little impact on the results. Both drinkers and nondrinkers tended to favor the 15-year-old girls over the older ones, and when asked to estimate the younger girls' age, both groups of participants judged them to be just over 18 — or, just over the legal age for sex in the U.S. (The one condition under which drinkers preferred the 19-year-old faces was when they were wearing makeup, which has the effect of smoothing out wrinkles and granting a younger appearance — a finding that won't come as a great surprise to any woman who has ever worn rouge.)" (Link)

$2 Hugs

I thought this was a pretty funny video mocking the people who give out free hugs. Not that I have anything against them, it's just interesting to juxtapose 'free vs. $2' for something like a hug.

And not to ruin it, but I cannot believe he actually made money...

Monday, April 27, 2009


Maybe you've seen this first video:

That's Maru. An very fat, possibly obese, cat who likes to squeeze his large self into very small places.

Apparently he even has his own blog!
OK, so maybe it's his owner's, not his. But it's solely focused on the cat.

And click here for more videos on his YouTube page!

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Chinese Speed Cooking

Apparently someone thought it would be a fun idea to cook animals so fast their tissue is still alive and moving when it's served.
Nothing against the chef, but I don't find that remotely appetizing.

(Link thanks(?) to Derrick)

Friday, April 24, 2009

Tone Matrix

This is a pretty cool little program.
It plays tones in the sequence that you select the points on the grid, then uses a wave algorithm "which", according to the programmer "makes it more cute".

Here's a quick one I made that sounds nice and pleasant, even when played over and over again in the background while I write this entry.


(Link thanks to Victor)

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Free Reynolds Wrap Foil!

To promote its new 100% recycled aluminum foil, Reynolds Wrap is giving away free rolls!
Well, it's really a mail-in rebate coupon, so it'll actually cost you 42 cents (44 cents after May 11th), but that's still better than nothing.

You need to hurry though, the offer ends tonight!

Song of the Moment: John Mayer - Slow Dancing in a Buring Room

New category!
My new Song of the Moment, basically the song I listen to several times a day and will not get out of my head until I memorize all the lyrics.
John Mayer - Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

In the News: April 21, 2009

Couple to test 'intimacy' device

Interesting... very weird, but interesting.

"Couples in long distance relationships are being sought to try out a prototype device designed to communicate intimacy from their bedrooms."

The device allows users to draw in light on each other

"A computer vision system tracks the movement of the ring as one of the device's users passes it across their own body, or bed.

At the same time these strokes are transmitted to and projected in beams of light on the body of their partner. The lines change colour if they cross."

Unleash thy inner bard on 'Talk Like Shakespeare Day'

William Shakespeare is being honored in Chicago and on the Web on the 445th anniversary of his birth.
William Shakespeare is being honored in Chicago and on the Web on the 445th anniversary of his birth.

Oh man! This will rank second to 'National Talk Like a Pirate Day', but way above any other 'Talk like a ___ days'. (Are there any other days like that?)

"But should you need some help, head over to talklikeshakespeare.org -- a Web site that the Chicago Shakespeare Theater unveiled Monday."

"The Web site also offers 10 quick pointers on how to talk like Bill. A sampling:

  • Don't waste time saying "it." Just use the letter "t" ('tis, 'twill, I'll do't).
  • To add weight to your opinions, try starting them with "methinks," "mayhaps," "in sooth" or "wherefore."
  • When in doubt, add the letters "eth" to the end of verbs (he runneth, he trippeth, he falleth).
  • Finally, if you're inclined to yell at the driver who cuts you off as you head to work, why settle for "idiot," when "thou rank white-livered canker-blossom" is so much more satisfying.

    For more ammunition, you can consult the random Shakespearean insult generator on the British site william-shakespeare.org.uk. "Thou vain fly-bitten moldwarp!" and "Thou gorbellied clapper-clawed scurvy-knave!" are just a sample of the offerings."

    'Twill be the most wonderful of days, for sooth!

    And just for fun...

    It’s Only a Matter of Time Before These Frightening Creatures Invade Park Slope

    "Ahhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh! Oh my GOD! What is that THING?!?! It looks like a two-headed monster!

    Oh, good Lord, it's a mom-and-baby Snuggie.

    We know the recession has made everyone want to retreat into the comfort of soft, warm blankets, but honestly, this is too much. What if it poops in there? The horror."

    Ben &Jerry's Free Cone Day!

    Hey everyone!
    It's Free Cone Day at Ben & Jerry's!
    Head to you local B&J 12-8pm today and get a free scoop of your favorite ice cream.

    Every year B&J's has FCD to celebrate it's anniversary and thank all its customers for their business.

    Sunday, April 19, 2009

    Foxtrot: Sunday, April 19th, 2009

    One of my favorite comics, Foxtrot, had this fun Sunday comic.
    Unfortunately curiosity and the my engineer side got the best of me and I had to solve the problem.
    But I won't help you out, you'll have to do it yourself!

    Here, I'll leave some blank space for your work:

    OK... if you're really stuck (or really lazy) check the post labels below =)

    In the News: Polo horses

    This is a bizarre story... I can't wait to find out the cause.

    14 horses die just before polo match

    "Fourteen thoroughbred horses dropped dead in a mysterious scene Sunday before a polo match near West Palm Beach, Florida, officials said."

    "Two horses initially collapsed, and as vets and team officials scrambled to revive them, five others became dizzy, said Tim O'Connor, spokesman for the polo club."

    Wolf and Pig

    Stop motion with pictures of pictures?

    Saturday, April 18, 2009

    Fucking Hipsters...

    This has got to be one of my new favorite sites:
    Look at this fucking hipster

    Here's a sampling, with original author comments.

    “You might want to stand back a little bit. Wispy mustaches are contagious.”
    “You might want to stand back a little bit. Wispy mustaches are contagious.”

    “Check it out, you guys! It looks like I’m forcing this sullen black guy to carry me against his will! Hahahahaha!”
    “Check it out, you guys! It looks like I’m forcing this sullen black guy to carry me against his will! Hahahahaha!”

    “Come and dry your hands by the warmth of my probably pierced penis.”
    “Come and dry your hands by the warmth of my probably pierced penis.”

    “Hey, do you have a light? How about a BeDazzler?”
    “Hey, do you have a light? How about a BeDazzler?”

    “How is it that I’m the dude and you’re the woman?”
    “How is it that I’m the dude and you’re the woman?”

    Green Death

    Here's an awesome email from a coach in Scituate, MA.
    Apparently, he really loves the team...
    I don't know about you, but I would be psyched to play for this guy.

    Coaches Email:

    Congratulations on being selected for Team 7 (forest green shirts) of the Scituate Soccer Club! My name is Michael and I have been fortunate enough to be selected to coach what I know will be a wonderful group of young ladies. Chris Mac will also be coaching and I expect the ever popular Terry to return to the sidelines. Our first game will be Saturday April 4 at 10:00AM. There will be a half hour of skills followed by a 1 hour game, so total time will be 1.5 hours. All games will be played on the fields in the front of the High School. Each player will be required to wear shin guards and cleats are recommended but not required. A ball will be provided to each player at the first meeting, and each player should bring the ball to games and practices. There is no set practice time allotted for the U8 teams, but I will convene with the coaches to determine the best time and place. If there are cancellations due to rain, all notices will be posted via the Scituate Soccer Club website, no calls will be made (though I will try to send an email). Attached is the Schedule and Code of Conduct. After listening to the head of the referees drone on for about 30 minutes on the dangers of jewelry (time which I will never get back), no player will be allowed to play with pierced ears, hairclips, etc. We used to tape the earings, but that practice is no longer acceptable. Please let me know if your child has any health issues that I need to be aware of. My home phone is 781 XXX XXXX, my cell number is 781 XXX XXXX, and I check my email frequently. According to my wife, my emails get too wordy, so for those of you read too slowly, are easily offended, or are too busy, you can stop here. For the others……

    OK, here’s the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge “Team 7” for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don’t need to talk to me. Coach MacDonald has been designated “good guy” this year.

    Some say soccer at this age is about fun and I completely agree. However, I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the “W” in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines. America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don’t animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn’t grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners.

    These are my views and not necessarily the views of the league (but they should be). I recognize that my school of thought may be an ideological shift from conventional norms. But it is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.

    Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?

    Go Green Death!

    Friday, April 17, 2009

    20 Reasons I Love Penguins

    Man... penguins really are awesome.

    From disaboom.com

    1. They're very affectionate

    Two South African penguins

    (Photo credit: Paul Mannix)

    2. They come in more colors than black and white

    Blue-and-white Little Penguin twins

    (Photo credit: M Kuhn)

    3. Sharp beaks are great for scratching those itches you just can't reach

    Magellanic Penguins nuzzling each others' necks

    (Photo credit: longhorndave)

    4. They come in small sizes too

    Three tiny Fairy Penguins

    (Photo credit: rumpleteaser)

    5. Get a large group of them, and you have an instant formal dress party

    A flock of Gentoo penguins

    (Photo credit: andym8y)

    6. They're outspoken

    A Magellanic Penguin opens his mouth wide

    (Photo credit: Flickmor)

    7. In the event of a water landing, they can be used as a flotation device

    Swimming penguin looks up at the camera

    (Photo credit: fionaandneil)

    8. They'd make great punk rockers

    Macaroni penguin with an attitude

    (Photo credit: Jungleboy)

    9. Funny flappy feet

    Gentoo penguin trying to roll over, but his wings are in the way

    (Photo credit: amoosefloats)

    10. Stretchable Necks

    A king penguin stretches his neck

    (Photo credit: Yukon White Light)

    11. Even the little guys can be king of the hill

    Little penguin standing proudly on top of a rock

    (Photo credit: Nick Russill)

    12. They don't take nothin' from nobody.

    A little penguin stands up to a big sheep.

    (Photo credit: Mister Wind-Up Bird)

    13. Name one "Waldo" and you'll have a best-selling childrens' book before you know it.

    Colony of King Penguins, Antarctica

    (Photo credit: mark van de wouw)

    14. They know how to relax at the beach

    Lots of penguins lounging on the beach

    (Photo credit: CharlesFred)

    15. They never let bad hair days get in their way

    Rockhopper penguin asks

    (Photo credit: Ginger Me)

    16. Just because they can't fly doesn't mean they don't try.

    Penguin skimming above the water's surface

    (Photo credit: swh)

    17. They like to race...

    Adelie penguins racing across the ice

    (Photo credit: elisfanclub)

    18. ...but they're also good at taking turns

    Four penguins in a line

    (Photo credit: bingisser)

    19. The world is their playground

    Adelie penguins playing on an iceberg

    (Photo credit: Nick Russill)

    20. They look stylish even without the suit

    White penguin in a zoo

    (Photo credit: jammach_uk)

    TBT Update

    A few more videos from one of the sites I visit daily, Today's Big Thing:

    Disney Template?
    I dunno... I almost think it makes them cooler. (Even if they slacked a little in the animation creativity department). It's hard drawing/coloring all those cells by hand!

    We Didn't Start the Flame War
    Ahh pop culture...
    Gotta love it.

    And stupid people...
    Why do they even exist?

    Some More Random Stuff

    Yet another eclectic bunch of things I'd like to share...

    Best blanket ever?
    From the site Who Killed Bambi?, a site focus on some really bizarre (but really cool) art, occasionally including deer for some reason...

    Awesome final shot from a 7th/8th grader.

    Too bad the ref said it didn't count. I would have given it to him just based on the Rube Goldeberg factor; and I don't think anyone would have argued.

    Some awesome comics from Dilbert:


    Yay secure jobs! (Such as engineer =P)

    I forgot! One of my favorite FMLs as of late:
    "Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML"

    Enjoy! =)

    Sunday, April 12, 2009

    Happy Easter!

    In honor of Easter, I present this video which has nothing to do with Easter!
    It does have to do with relationships, and it is hilarious.

    (Thanks to Steve)

    Wednesday, April 8, 2009

    Vacation Entry

    Sorry folks, I'm on vacation this week so haven't had much time to update!

    Here are a couple fun videos from one of my favorite sites, Today's Big Thing:

    I assume most of you have seen this one already, but I'd like to note that I saw it first on this site

    This is Eli Manning during the off-season:

    I love showoffs making fools of themselves.
    Especially when it's caught on camera

    And who doesn't love these dubs of Billy Mays?

    Thursday, April 2, 2009

    FailBlog 2

    In the interest of sharing, here are a couple more from FailBlog:
    (Because sharing is caring, right?)

    Ahhh policemen... always looking out for us:
    (And that damn pesky red-10... It's always hiding under some other cards...)
    Just remember, you won't get a ticket speeding on the highway. They're all probably playing solitaire!

    Not sure I want to try Extra gum's new flavor:
    And I'm pretty sure spearmint's spelled with an "ea". So much for shorthand...

    This guy and the lip-syncing guy (see previous post) should never get together. They would probably scare each other into dual heart-attacks. Just a chain-reaction of girlish screams and spasms...

    She totally deserved it... I heard she's a Cowboys fan.


    I was going to post this yesterday, but with all the April Fools' Day posts, I didn't want the pressure of having to be funny.

    So, here are two updates from FailBlog.com:

    This one is a man's worse nightmare:
    But she has a job people! So it'll all be alright...

    I just can't stop watching or laughing at this video:

    All was going well... He was totally seducing that woman in the first row with his awkward stares and... BAM!
    Who is that? His mom?
    Man... he's not gonna come out of his room for weeks now.