Monday, March 30, 2009
Until then, you will all have to deal with my sporadic, yet immensely amusing entries.
Lately in the news...
"Boston police were called to the school on Wednesday because of the rumors of a vampires."
Yes, you read that correctly.
Apparently the book "Twilight" has become so pervasive in schools, students started to freak themselves out by believing vampires roamed the halls.
FYI: The school, Boston Latin, is a public exam school known for scholastic excellence. It is also the oldest school in the USA. Apparently 'reality vs. fiction' is not taught there.
Or maybe there are vampires. I mean, it's the oldest school in the nation and they do live forever.
(Link thanks to Joel)
Mapping the fall of communism
An interactive map, illustrating the last years of the USSR and it's influence over the surrounding region.
A cool new device designed to aid police quickly and effectively end car chases (no matter how cool they look in the movies).
I just wish people would lessen their infatuation for acronyms.
Supposedly SQUID stands for: "Safe Quick Undercarriage Immobilization Device". But really, we all know they made up the acronym before the name.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Where Are They Now: 6 "Stars" of Embarrassing Viral Videos
I won't ruin the surprise, but here are the original videos that made them the celebrities they are today:
Aleksey Vayner: Impossible is Nothing, aka, The Douche on The Worst Resume Ever
Watch IvyGate: Worst Resume Ever in Funny Videos | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
Andrew Meyer, aka The "Don't Tase Me Bro" Kid
Michael Scott, The news anchor who freaked when a lizard jumped on him
(Doesn't it make it that much better that he has the same name as Steve Carell's dimwitted character in The Office?)
Melissa Sander, aka The Grape Lady
I love this video... The sounds she makes are so out of this world!
And it's a great lesson to cheaters!
Lee Paige, The guy who shot himself in the foot demonstrating gun safety
And last, but certainly not least:
Mark A. Hicks, aka Afro Ninja!
Finest parts of this video? The little "I'm the shit" sneer before he starts and his valiant effort to continue after smashing his face into the floor.
This allows you to quickly unsend your email if you accidentally sent it to the wrong party, or if you noticed a mistake as soon as you sent it.
FYI: Google Labs is a general term used for in-process apps created by Google employees.
One of the more famous applications to come out of this creative process is Google Maps.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Hey, at least they're not all in the U.S.!
15 Crazy Lawsuits that Make You Want to Sue Someone
Here are a couple fine examples:
"January 2008: Spanish businessman Tomas Delgado sued the family of the 17-year-old boy he'd hit and killed for the damage that the boy's body did to his Audi. Delgado was speeding at the time, but since the boy was cycling alone at night without reflectors or a helmet, the driver wasn't charged with anything other than being a complete jerk. Under public pressure, he later dropped his lawsuit."
"November 2008: The mayor of a city in Turkey called Batman sued Warner Brothers and The Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan for using the name without permission. Either it took the town's residents 70 years to realize the superhero's existence or they just wanted to cash in on The Dark Knight's billion-dollar box office take. You be the judge."
"June 2005: Reality-challenged Minnesota resident Christopher Roller sued magicians David Copperfield and David Blaine for using Roller's "godly powers" without his permission to perform their acts. Roller, by the way, claimed to be a god. He also claimed that the movie The Truman Show was based on his life and that he was married to both Katie Couric and Celine Dion, with whom he planned to father 1 million babies"
"October 2003: After Jonathon Russell went on a shooting spree at the manufacturing plant where he worked, leaving three dead and five injured, his mother filed for workman's compensation benefits on his behalf, citing his "death by gunfire while on company clock." She was denied."
And an extra one for good luck:
Family who are 'too fat to work' say £22,000 worth of benefits is not enough
"The family from Blackburn claim £22,508 a year in benefits, equivalent to the take-home pay from a £30,000 salary.
The Chawners, haven't worked in 11 years, claim their weight is a hereditary condition and the money they receive is insufficient to live on.
"We have cereal for breakfast, bacon butties for lunch and microwave pies with mashed potato or chips for dinner," Mrs Chawner told Closer magazine.
"All that healthy food, like fruit and veg, is too expensive. We're fat because it's in our genes. Our whole family is overweight," she added."
I'm sorry, but somebody's got to cut down on the bacon butties...
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
This post is filled with YouTube videos!
Awesome stop-motion music video
Oren Lavie- Her Morning Elegance
I don't quite know how to explain this... Just watch.
"Banned" commercial from Centrum:
Pretty funny... His rhymes are terrible either.
In case you haven't heard of him, this guy in the suburbs of Chicago regularly updates with video posts. They're all ridiculous.
Here he is getting angry about a parking ticket:
His day in court!:
I'll end with two videos from JaboOodyDubs.
They dub over commericals and videos, most notably infomercials with Billy Mays.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Twitter throughout history
A couple faux tweets from people even before the internet!
"Note: Tweets are read from the bottom to the top Note 2: Everything was translated to modern English Note 3: Yes, computers (and twitter) existed since before the first human walked the earth"
The Dawn of Man
The following are some disturbing images from a new site I've started following: Picture is Unrelated
Yes, he is holding a sewing machine, likely before Prom, while a UPS truck is falling into a ditch.
No, I do not know why.
Again, I don't know why. One can only hope their bloodline stops with him.
I pray this guy never comes near my children... or any children for that matter.
Birds Stealing Ice-Cream
(Thanks to Johanna)
Exactly what it says.
I think the best are the people who are completely unaware or completely shocked.
Here are some favorites:
What does one trillion dollars look like?
(Thanks to Derrick)
"What does that look like? I mean, these various numbers are tossed around like so many doggie treats, so I thought I'd take Google Sketchup out for a test drive and try to get a sense of what exactly a trillion dollars looks like.
We'll start with a $100 dollar bill. Currently the largest U.S. denomination in general circulation. Most everyone has seen them, slighty fewer have owned them. Guaranteed to make friends wherever they go.
A packet of one hundred $100 bills is less than 1/2" thick and contains $10,000. Fits in your pocket easily and is more than enough for week or two of shamefully decadent fun.
Believe it or not, this next little pile is $1 million dollars (100 packets of $10,000). You could stuff that into a grocery bag and walk around with it.
While a measly $1 million looked a little unimpressive, $100 million is a little more respectable. It fits neatly on a standard pallet...
And $1 BILLION dollars... now we're really getting somewhere...
Next we'll look at ONE TRILLION dollars. This is that number we've been hearing so much about. What is a trillion dollars? Well, it's a million million. It's a thousand billion. It's a one followed by 12 zeros.
You ready for this?
It's pretty surprising.
Ladies and gentlemen... I give you $1 trillion dollars...
(And notice those pallets are double stacked.)"
Why Print Cannot Die: The Funniest Newspaper Articles
A picture's worth a thousand words... There's nothing I can say to make these any worse (/better?)
Sunday, March 15, 2009
But most of you will probably see this in time to wash away your case of the "Mondays".
Fat man and a muppet. What's not to love?
It's a good thing this kid is so cute...
Weatherman schooling 101: Do not wear green ties.
For some reason Gatorade has decided to re-brand itself as 'G' and put athletes in all sorts of awkward situations.
32 Songs in 8 Minutes
I especially like how he works in bits of online culture:
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
India seeks rupee status symbol
"The hope is that the rupee sign will become as ubiquitous as the US dollar ($), or that instant emblem of the digital age, the @ symbol.
But how easy is it to launch a symbol on the international stage and land a coveted place on keyboards the world over?
It doesn't happen very often. One of the most recent symbols to make the leap, the € for euro, had a long and difficult birth."
Smuggler with broken leg wears cocaine cast
"Spanish police arrested a man arriving at Barcelona's airport from Chile after determining that the cast on his fractured left leg was made of cocaine, the Interior Ministry said in a statement Friday.
The 66-year-old Chilean man had an actual fracture of two bones below the knee, but the police suspect that he, or accomplices, may have intentionally fractured it, so that the cocaine cast could be applied."
You gotta admit, that's pretty clever. Even if they were dumb enough not to coat it with real plaster.
Mexico pours troops into border city stricken by drug war
I think people often forget that there's a fairly large war going on right at our border.
This is my favorite part of the article:
"But human rights advocates say the military presence creates a police state in a region where confidence in law enforcement is low."
Really? They're worried more about a police state and low confidence than the drug gangs, kidnappings, and, oh you know, 7,000+ killings last year?
Ford staff accept working changes
"Workers at US carmaker Ford have voted to accept changes to their contracts and other benefits, the United Auto Workers union (UAW) says.
The changes include freezing wages, eliminating cost-of-living increases as well as some paid holidays and bonuses.
The deal, which is aimed at helping the firm remain competitive, also involves a new funding arrangement for a health care trust."
This is pretty big. I'm glad the UAW finally consented to changes. I mean, it's either pay freezes and reduced benefits, or no jobs at all. The Unions don't have much ground to stand on here.
And last, but not least:
Michael Jackson announces 'curtain call' concerts
Most of you have probably heard about this already, but I thought it was worth a mention since I'm a MJ fan.
Ten shows at the O2 Arena from July 8th to 28th.
I don't know about you, but I'm going to try to get tickets. If I don't end up flying to London, I could always sell them on Ebay for a nice profit...
Monday, March 9, 2009
Or hokey cokey as they say in the UK. Or hokey tokey in New Zealand. (But apparently not in Australia, according to Wikipedia).
What if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about?
What does that mean anyway? Maybe that's what the hokey pokey's all about. Putting your appendages in and out.
I especially like how they tried to make "about" rhyme with... "about"?
Why did I ever think that song was fun?
I mean, it's not like skiddamarink-a-dink-a-dink song.
That song is the balls.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Wrong Red Button
She handed him a palm-sized box wrapped with a bow. Lavrov opened it and pulled out the gift—a red plastic button on a black base with a Russian word “peregruzka” printed on top.
“We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?” Clinton said as reporters, allowed in to observe the first few minutes of the meeting, watched.
“You got it wrong,” Lavrov said, to Clinton’s clear surprise. Instead of "reset," he said the word on the box meant “overcharge.”
It's a nice gesture to the other nuclear superpower and it's nice to think Clinton has really eased tensions between us from the past few years... but seriously?
No one on her staff thought to actually ask a native Russian speaker for the correct word?
Of course not! Instead, let's guess at it and make her look like an idiot on international television, to a nation we want to act more like us.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
In an attempt to play some catch up, I will start these mass-article posts with minimal comments.
Some of them are dated, so forgive me if you've seen them already.
Here are a few:
Australia holds 'pigeon smuggler'
"A man has been caught with two pigeons stuffed in his trousers after he got off a flight from Dubai to Melbourne."
I don't even know what to say... The long underwear adds a nice touch though.
Boy born with 24 fingers and toes
A baby boy has been born in California with 24 perfectly formed fingers and toes - six on each hand and foot.
I wonder if he'll be awesome playing the piano...
L-test hell for S Korean driver
A South Korean grandmother has failed her written driving test 771 times.
Police in the city of Jeonju said the 68-year-old woman has taken, and failed, the written test repeatedly since April 2005.
She failed the exam once again on Monday but has said that she will continue trying.
The woman, identified only by her family name Cha, has repeatedly scored between 30 and 50 marks, below the pass mark of 60 out of 100.
No picture to match, but I can just imagine this four-foot tall woman walking in with a cane every week. You can't knock her determination and you desperately want her to pass, but she's failed over 770 times... Can you imagine how she drives?
I'll break up the articles with a quick video:
I thought this was very cool...
Random images people have found captured on Google Earth.
Airplane graveyard in Tucson, AZ:
"Bloody" river in Baghdad, Iraq:
Shipwreck off the coast of Sudan:
And of course, an Oprah maze in Arizona... She's everywhere I tell ya!
Spit Happens: Saliva's mysteries revealed
Not fully, but there are some interesting findings...
"Your saliva is doing all kinds of useful things for you all the time -- for instance, helping you chew and taste food. It's also home to more than 600 species of bacteria, which are harmlessly enjoying the moisture of your mouth."
Competence: Is Your Boss Faking It?
Don't lie, I'm sure you've all thought so at one point or another...
"Bosses may be an overbearing breed, but more often than not, you've got to admire their business chops. Wouldn't you love to have that same sense of competence and confidence, that ability to assess tough problems and reach smart solutions on the fly? Guess what? So would they. If you have ever suspected that your boss isn't actually good enough at what he or she does to deserve the job in the first place, a new study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggests that you might be right."
And a couple left over from Valentine's Day...
Popular Science style
He's Just Not That Into You?
Interesting little article generalizing birth-order characteristics and their relationship to... relationships.
First Borns: Energetic, Logical, Ambitious, Enterprising, Scholarly. Famous first born children: Walter Conkrite, Dan Rather, Oprah Winfrey, Rush Limbaugh and Arsenio Hall.
Middle Children: Flexible, Diplomatic, Rebellious, Attention-seeking, Competitive, Peacemakers. Famous middle born children: Donald Trump, Ted Kennedy, Tim Allen, Julia Roberts, and Rosie O'Donnell.
Last Born Children: Risk takers, Idealists, Good sense of humor, Immature, Attention-seeking, Secretive, Sensitive. Famous last born children: Howard Stern, Jay Leno, Ralph Nadar, Bill Gates, and Danny DeVito.
Only Children: Mature faster, Get along well with older people, Responsible, Self-Centered, Perfectionists, Attention-seekers and Have difficulty sharing. Only children tend to be a special breed in that they can share the common personality traits of any of the above 3 main birth orders. However, they are generally more aligned with the traits of the first born. Famous only children include: Nancy Reagan, Chelsea Clinton, Carol Burnett, and Ted Koppel.
A DIY Proposal
Obviously as an engineer and hands-on DIYer, I thought this was pretty awesome.
Come on... that's pretty cool.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Here are a few I stumbled upon recently:
The 25 Most Baffling Toys From Around the World
My favorite has to be GodJesus Robot
How could you not want that toy?!
The 11 Most Badass Last Words Ever Uttered
10 Awesome Ads (For Traumatizing Children)
Things that will keep you , not just children, up at night:
(Be sure to visit the site, the author comments are a definite plus).
Here are a couple movie-related articles.
Ridiculous Overseas Rip-Offs of American Films
(Not all movies, but worth a watch.)
Seriously? You're trying to copy Michael Jackson...
Lost In Translation: 20 Baffling Foreign Movie Posters
(Original author comments in italics)
"Star Wars = space cowboy, which is understandable. Why the space cowboy seems to be constructed out of appliance catalogs, however, is not."
"Another Star Wars poster for the Russian market, in which Vader is some kind of robotic disco puma. So, the people who went to see the movie based on this poster ... were they disappointed?"
"Poland makes our list for the second time by portraying Chinatown as the fantastic tale of an uptight middle-aged woman tormented by Pedro the mischievous, nostril-stabbing elf."
"Ghostbusters (1984): Patrick from Spongebob tries to avoid being prison-raped by Giant Aardvark Man. Rated PG."
"And... you are now insane. Sorry."
Sunday, March 1, 2009
So while working last Friday, I also surfed the web and found these site:
Everyone can be a civil engineer now with this fun game!
I mean, that's all civil is right? Playing with CAD programs and building bridges?
(Joking, CE friends!)
An interesting and funny article about the way things used to be:
"It's 1996, and you're bored. What do you do? If you're one of the lucky people with an AOL account, you probably do the same thing you'd do in 2009: Go online. Crank up your modem, wait 20 seconds as you log in, and there you are—"Welcome." You check your mail, then spend a few minutes chatting with your AOL buddies about which of you has the funniest screen name (you win, pimpodayear94)."
(Thanks Sarah, for the link!)
What could the internet be better for than wasting time?
The ultimate time waster: viral videos.
Luckily, Time.com has put together a list of them for you to "multitask" at work with!
The Internet's 99 Greatest Hits
Here are a couple:
And I leave you with a Dilbert strip.
(Cross your fingers for a snow day Eastcoast people!)