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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Things That Just Shouldn't Happen

Church Store Fail
Although I'm sure it's quite popular with some of the priests...



Parenting Fail

Then the raccoon dragged him away to his burrow and raised the child as his own.
And the boy grew to be a man; in fact, ten times the man he would have been, raised by his biological parents.

Parenting Fail 2


Sigh....


This is just horrible beyond words



Oh, and one more:
Reality Creepier Than Muppets. Who Knew?

Never watching Sesame Street again...
Not that I do anymore, I'm a grown-up. Aside from the occasional YouTube binge of course.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Michael Jackson Medley

This is an awesome a cappella medley of Michael Jackson songs.
Oh yeah, and the same guy sings all the vocals.
Self-harmonization? Awesome.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

PolitiFact

Pointing out the flaws in our politicians is one of my favorite pastimes, so naturally a site that keeps track of and checks the accuracy of their statements is bound to be a favorite.
PolitiFact.com does just that, as well as keeping track of President Obama's political promises.

Here are a few favorites:



The now infamous Joe Wilson:
Joe Wilson of South Carolina said Obama lied, but he didn't

"We read all 1,000-plus pages of the health care bill and were struck by the fact that it is largely silent on health care for illegal immigrants."

"When we look at all of this evidence, it seems that health reform leaves in place the status quo on illegal immigration, and certainly does not provide any new benefits particularly for illegal immigrants."



This is just ridiculous:
Massachusetts legislature flip-flops on governor's senatorial appointment power

"We've never put an entire legislature to the Flip-O-Meter before. But the recent move by the Massachusetts legislature in filling the seat held by the late Sen. Edward Kennedy was too bold to pass up."

"Massachusetts legislators this week approved a bill that allows the governor to appoint a temporary successor to Kennedy. But that came just over five years after legislators stripped the governor's longstanding power to appoint a U.S. senator to fill a vacancy. Both moves were consistent in one sense: In the strongly Democratic state, they advanced the Democratic Party's interests."

"In 2004, the state's junior senator, John Kerry, was the Democratic presidential nominee. Party leaders knew that if Kerry won in November, state law allowed the governor -- then Republican Mitt Romney -- to appoint Kerry's successor, and that person would presumably be a Republican. So, the Democratic leadership of the legislature drew up a measure to strip the governor of his senatorial appointment power."

So... they'll just flip the law every time there is a governor in office who's selection they won't like?



I really don't like Michael Moore, but I do love when the hypocrisies of others (especially politicians) are pointed out.
Barack Obama got many campaign contributions from Goldman Sachs

""I don't like Obama so much," Colbert said. "On this, I do. And your film is helping me like Obama, because you're a critic of his. You think he's in the pocket of guys like Goldman Sachs." "I point out in the film that Goldman Sachs is his No. 1 private contributor," Moore answered. "But I voted for the guy. I'm still hopeful that he's going to do the right thing and side with us, and not Wall Street. But the jury's out on that.""

"Obama made a big deal during the election that he didn't accept money from federal political action committees or lobbyists."



GOP claims video shows public B. Bernice Young Elementary School students made to sing about Obama

I'm not saying it's wrong, and I hate to agree with Glenn Beck, but I have to on this point:

""Did anybody in the room stop and think for a second, 'Wait a minute. I really wouldn't want my kids chanting a song about George W. Bush, so maybe I shouldn't do it with this one?'""

There is a huge double standard with what's acceptable or not with Obama, versus that of Bush.
Remember these pictures?:

The one on the left was political humor, the one on the right was racist.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Lamebook

OK, so half of the submissions on the site are probably fake. But they're still funny as hell.

Wrong Holy Matrimony



I’d Like to Buy a Vow



Stomach FLUids




Puppy Love



Krazy Kathy



3 Likable Moments





Song of the Moment: Jason Mraz - I'm Yours [Original Demo]

While I like the radio released version, I always love the raw and simple demo versions.


Originally heard in the Wong Fu Productions video.
Wayyyy back.

Song of the Moment: Justin Moore - Small Town USA

Just another good ol' country song.

Crazy South Carolina Mayor

This is just ridiculous...

The mayor of a South Carolina town has banned police officers in the city from chasing suspects. WSPA reports.



The original interview on CNN.

When pressed on her decision she gets highly defensive and highly unprofessional. And her only reply to further questions and comments is "May god bless you".
I'm not sure how she got elected to office, but after seeing this I would definitely call for her resignation. Not to mention her completely idiotic decision to ban foot chases.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Emails From Crazy People: September 19, 2009

A few more crazy people emails:


Extra Income In Exchange For Crazy

I really don't have much to add to this guy's commentary:

This note starts out merely as odd. What pushes it over the edge to flat out crazy-town though is that the submitter was not RENTING or SELLING his home. Which means this old man is wandering the streets, looking at houses that appeal to him and leaving notes in the hopes that someone will say, “This isn’t weird at all.”

Emails From Crazy People



Weep For The Future

This makes me so sad...
Weep For The Future


What's Creepier Than A Clown? This Guy

I can understand wanting to get back at your weird/crazy neighbors, but this isn't quite the route that I would go...

Clown for Kicks (Mendota Heights)
Date: 2009-08-28, 11:12AM CDT
Reply to: sale-hqu43-1346837248@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I am looking for someone to dress up like a Clown and hang out with me. I would cook you diner – or we could BBQ something. I’m interested in making my neighbor lady wonder. I have already had a man in a panda costume last month – and also had a heard of sheep come in for the day to cut the grass. (sheep do a good job by the way). A clown would be something.
Maybe you could bring some balloons – or make balloon animals to hang in my tree. I’d like to have this done some evening between 6pm and dark. The longer you can stay the better (like if you could stay for the whole 3 hours). Do you have any tricks you could do?
Like I said – I could cook diner and get you drunk – I’d even be willing to pay your cab fare to and from. I don’t have much to offer – and my neighbor lady is driving me nuts – so I want to drive her nuts. If you had a Mime friend – it would be cool to see you two chase each other around the yard or do relay races while I time you.

Let me know your thoughts – open to Men and Women Clowns.


Just Act Casual

Matthew and his girl went to a wedding where they conversed for less than an hour with this guy. Small talk, how’s this weather we’ve been having kind of talk. Then a few weeks later, this shows up on the girl’s front door. Nothing says “Not A Stalker” quite like meeting a girl and her boyfriend at a wedding, chatting a bit and then hunting her down and acting like she is single. Nope, nothing stalker-ish about that at all…

An email starting with "Found you!" can never be a good thing.

Found You!


And finally, two customer complaint calls.
(Warning: Language)

This first one is to Dell:


And this one is for Jimmy Dean Sausages:

Thursday, September 17, 2009

In the News: September 17, 2009

Starting off with a bang!
Here's a really odd story:

Centenarian desires 23rd husband

Wook Kundor sits outside her house in Malaysia's northern Kuala Terengganu state
Wook Kundor says she feels "lonely" during her husband's absence

"A 107-year-old Malaysian woman has said she wants to get married again, for the 23rd time, as she fears her husband wants to leave her, says a report.

When Wook Kundor married four years ago to a man 70 years her junior their wedding photos made regional media.

But now she fears her husband will not return home after completing treatment for drug addiction in Kuala Lumpur.
"

"Her husband, who used to be her lodger, had previously said it was "God's will" that he fell in love with his wife to be."

I'm almost positive he married her just for her money, expecting her to die shortly.
Then, realizing it wasn't gonna happen, he drank himself silly.

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How the world was connected

Very cool interactive map on BBC News

"Ten years ago, there were just over four million broadband subscribers. In 2009, more than 400 million people are connected to high-speed internet."






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Johns Hopkins student kills apparent burglar with sword

"A Johns Hopkins University student killed an apparent burglar with a samurai sword after discovering the man in his garage, police said Tuesday."

"When authorities arrived, they heard calls for help and for police, he said. They discovered a suspected burglar with a severed left hand and severe lacerations to his upper body, Guglielmi said.

The suspect died at the scene, he said.

The man had entered a home where several Johns Hopkins students lived, Guglielmi said. Four students, one armed with a samurai sword, had confronted the suspect in the garage.

The man "lunged" at the students, and the student with the sword defended himself, severing the man's left hand and cutting his upper body, Guglielmi said."

This could only have been better if the burglar was dressed as a pirate.

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World's tallest man over 8ft high

He's huge!



"At 8ft 1in (2.47m), Sultan Kosen, from Turkey, is about 4in (10cm) taller than previous title-holder Bao Xishun.

The 27-year-old's hands measure 10.8in (27.5cm) and his feet 14.3in (36.5cm).

Mr Kosen, whose height is due to the medical condition pituitary gigantism, said he hoped his new-found fame would bring him love for the first time.

"The first thing I want to do is have a car that I can fit in, but more than that I want to get married," he said."

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Study Finds Purchasing Green Products Increases Your Likelihood to Lie, Cheat

"Small acts of eco-kindness can make people more likely to cheat and steal.

In a recent paper by a pair of researchers at the University of Toronto, entitled "Do Green Products Make Us Better People?" the answer seems to be, eh, not completely. Although you may have done Mother Earth a favor, your unconscious might sway you to be less ethical with your fellow man.

When study participants were allowed to buy green products, they were more likely to cheat and lie in a subsequent task than those who chose among conventional products."

I always knew there was something wrong with those Whole Foods shopping hippies...

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Space Shuttle Unleashes Magnificent Plume of Pee


Pee Over Hungary, By the Ruins of Essegvar: Last Wednesday, several
skygazers scratched their heads when they saw this mysterious glow in the sky.


"To anyone who's ever pondered what urine looks like in space -- c'mon, don't be shy -- we say: wonder no more, because photos of the phenomenon have finally hit the internet.

Last Wednesday, a number of skygazers were lucky to sight a mysterious flare in the night sky, that, as it now turns out, was a 150-pound cocktail of astronaut urine and waste water released from the shuttle Discovery."

"Sad you missed the show? No need to worry: you may get another chance, as it's actually a fairly common sighting..."

Definitely check out the photo gallery!

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Snake with foot found in China

Imagine waking up with that hanging off your wall...


Snake that grew a foot out of its body Photo: CEN/Europics

"Dean Qiongxiu, 66, said she discovered the reptile clinging to the wall of her bedroom with its talons in the middle of the night.

"I woke up and heard a strange scratching sound. I turned on the light and saw this monster working its way along the wall using his claw," said Mrs Duan of Suining, southwest China.

Mrs Duan said she was so scared she grabbed a shoe and beat the snake to death before preserving its body in a bottle of alcohol.

The snake – 16 inches long and the thickness of a little finger – is now being studied at the Life Sciences Department at China's West Normal University in Nanchang."

"Such animals are often caught and preserved as lucky tokens but have very little chance of surviving in the wild anyway, especially as the heads have a tendency to attack each other."

That's awesome. The heads attack each other!

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And I'm sure you've all heard about it already, but the sound clip of Obama calling Kanye a 'jackass'.
Awesome.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Like, Oh My God



(Thanks Nick)

I'm Back!

Sorry folks!
I was away last week and have just gotten around to making another entry.

Here are just a couple recent videos from Today's Big Thing:

The adorable and funny:


The not-so-adorable, but even funnier:

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

God Bless the USA

Yes, these people live in my country.

Magic Broom!


He'd be adorable if he didn't seem like such a little disgruntled old man...

"She's gonna try to stop me, but she can't run in those little high heels."

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

In the News: September 1, 2009

Same-sex marriages begin in Vermont

Maine and Rhode Island: We're just waiting on you two to join the gay-marriage love!

"After 17 years together, Bill Slimback and Bob Sullivan couldn't wait another minute to get married. So they didn't."

"Dressed in suits, saying their vows under a large wall-mounted moose head, the two Whitehall, N.Y., men promised their love, exchanged rings and held hands during a modest 17-minute ceremony."

Don't you just find wall-mounted moose heads so romantic?

And to celebrate, Ben & Jerry's renamed their ChubbyHubby flavor to HubbyHubby

Genius.
Funny coincidence: HubbyHubby is also packed with fudge.

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Paris mayoral feud blocks street


This is pretty hilarious.
Town rivalries always remind me a little of Dr. Seuss' Butter Battle Book.
They just need to start slinging food at each other.

French road sign
The contradictory signs meant the road was quickly jammed with traffic

"There has been traffic chaos in two Paris suburbs after their feuding mayors declared the same busy road one-way, but in opposite directions.

Patrick Balkany, the conservative mayor of Levallois-Perret, initially made the D909 one-way to reduce the amount of commuter traffic through his district.

But Gilles Catoire, the Socialist mayor of neighbouring Clichy-la-Garenne, said this increased congestion in his area.

He made his section of the road one-way in the opposite direction."

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Homeowners frustrated by mortgage assistance program


On to a more serious issue.
Few things anger me more than large corporations taking advantage of the average Joe.
One of those things is government bureaucracy.
Here, we have both.

Mark Kollar and Angela Baca-Kollar took part in the Making Home Affordable program.
Mark Kollar and Angela Baca-Kollar took part in the Making Home Affordable program.

"Housing counselors, homeowners and consumer advocates tell endless stories of banks giving homeowners the runaround: declining apparently eligible applicants; pressuring them into loans they can't afford; placing homes in foreclosure while the owners are being considered for a modified loan; lenders telling homeowners to waive their legal rights, even though the program prohibits it; or banks telling homeowners that they have to be in default to qualify, which isn't true."

"According to the Treasury Department's most recent report, only 230,000 of the up to 4 million eligible homeowners have new mortgages under the program."

"In return for billions of dollars from the government to help banks recover from bad loans, the banks are supposed to help homeowners make their mortgage payments more affordable. As President Obama said unveiling the program in March, helping "responsible folks who have been making their payments" because it will "leave money in their pockets and leave them more secure in their homes." Under the Making Home Affordable formula, the Kollars' payment should have been reduced to 31 percent of their $3,000-a-month income. The bank's offer? A payment of $2,892 a month, or 96 percent of their income."

Personally, I never liked the bank bailout. I thought it was too hastily constructed by Congress and lacked significant oversight of the banks' usage of the funds.
Unfortunately we already gave them all the money, and now there is little to do to enforce the "Making Home Affordable program" and get banks to restructure loans.

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ANC: Canada refugee ruling racist

ANC logo
The ANC labelled Brandon Huntley's claims "sensational and alarming"

"The governing party in South Africa, the ANC, has condemned as "racist" a decision by Canada to grant a white South African man refugee status.

Brandon Huntley, 31, had told officials in Canada he could not return to South Africa after seven different attacks.

They included three stabbings, which he said he had suffered as a result of his skin colour.

But a party spokesman said the African National Congress was shocked by the "sensationalist" allegations.

"Canada's reasoning for granting Huntley a refugee-status can only serve to perpetuate racism," Ishmael Mnisi said."

I would like to know how this decision is 'racist'.
Sometimes I think the word is used so much as filler and an 'out' card it's meaning is completely lost to some people.

""We find the claim by Huntley to have been attacked seven times by Africans due to his skin colour - without any police intervention - sensational and alarming," he added.

The ANC said it was committed to fighting crime in South Africa, which has an annual murder rate of around 18,000.
"

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Last, this isn't really new, but I'm finally getting around to posting it.

Promotional pictures of characters from the upcoming Alice in Wonderland movie were released.

I couldn't quite put my finger on who Johnny Depp reminded me of (dressed as the Mad Hatter).

Then I remembered:


Yikes.

FailBlog: September 1, 2009

Whoa... it's September already?!
Anyway, what better way to celebrate than making fun of other people?

A few recent faves from FailBlog:


Parental Rights Fail

fail owned pwned pictures
Note the first few sentences:
"In life, he was a lousy father.
His love for the crack pipe..."

Why is this even being considered?!

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Public Speaker Fail

I remember hearing about this...
Reading about it didn't even come close to describing this woman's monologue.

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Privacy Fail

fail owned pwned pictures

OK, the patio furniture is a little weird, though I've heard there are some very fancy women's rooms out there.
But the second toilet? Notice the handy standalone toilet paper dispenser. I mean, you know how annoying it is having to ask the guy next to you for a couple sheets...

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Bus Ride Fail

I really don't know what's going on here or why, but it's just funny to watch.

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Facebooking Win

Facebooking it right

This was probably her first and last post...
And then she never tried her hand at that "internet thing" ever again.
(FailBlog via Emails From Crazy People)

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Cameraman Fail

Q: Why did the cameraman pan over to the non-speaking anchor?
A: To get a goofy, confused expression out of him.

I would say: Cameraman Win

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Thong Fail

fail owned pwned pictures

Not that I've worn a lot of thongs, but something funky is going on there...