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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Not really Saturday morning... How about Sunday Night Midnight Snack?

Either way, a new favorite comic. Here are a few:





------------More after the break!------------

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Mini Daddy

The exploitation of children is both awful and hilarious...



(link thanks to Sarah)

ManCrunch

Gay dating site's Super Bowl ad rejected by CBS

"Super Bowl network CBS rejected an ad Friday from ManCrunch.com, a gay dating Web site.


"After reviewing the ad, which is entirely commercial in nature, our standards and practices department decided not to accept this particular spot," said CBS spokeswoman Shannon Jacobs. "We are always open to working with a client on alternative submissions.""

"CBS is charging up to $3 million for 30-second spots. Buchter said ManCrunch would have been charged $2.5 million for its ad and would have had no trouble paying it, since the newly formed company recently raised $40 million from investors."


Well, they saved $2.5m and are now getting a ton of free advertising. And I'm sure it's getting a lot more attention in the gay community, which also happens to be their target audience.

I found the ad on YouTube, it's actually pretty funny:

(You know he wants in...)

I'm not screaming discrimination, but...
Focus on the Family buys Super Bowl ad

"Focus on the Family, a Christian non-profit group, said it will air its first Super Bowl spot during the upcoming game.


The 30-second ad will feature Tim Tebow, a former quarterback with the University of Florida's Gators and 2007 winner of the Heisman Trophy, along with his mother Pam."

"Focus on the Family is opposed to abortion "under all circumstances, except in the rare instance when the mother's life is threatened by continuing the pregnancy," according to the organization's web site."

Song of the Moment: Michael Bublé - Crazy Love

Van Morrison is a classic, but this one gets mighty close.
I'm surprised it's the title track of the album though.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Susan Boyle

Susan Boyle 'fine' after disturbing home intruder
(First off- this headline makes it sound like she was disturbing the intruder).





"Singer Susan Boyle said she was "fine" after disturbing an intruder inside her West Lothian house.
The man ran out when Boyle arrived home in Blackburn on Tuesday night."

I know she's a famous person, but what kind of drunken old man would stalk Susan Boyle?

"They said the intruder was described as white, between 15 and 16 years old, between 5ft 4in and 5ft 8in tall, with a slim build."

Wait... he was 15-16 years old?
You're a 15 year old kid in Britain, why would you break into Susan Boyle's house?
Susan Boyle??
(via BBC)

Greg Oden

So that's what he was up to when he was hurt last season...

Oden sorry photos have surfaced



 Sexting: Not just for little girls in high school anymore


"Portland Trail Blazers center Greg Oden is apologizing for nude photos that have surfaced on the internet.


Oden says the pictures, taken with his cell phone and sent to a former girlfriend, were taken about 1½ years ago. A friend told the 21-year-old Tuesday morning that the pictures were making the rounds on the internet.


"I would like to apologize to everybody: Portland, the fans, the organization," Oden told reporters at the Blazers practice facility. "It was very embarrassing."


Oden is out for this season after fracturing his left kneecap during a game against the Houston Rockets on Dec. 5. He averaged 11.1 points and 8.5 rebounds in 21 starts.


The 7-foot-center was the No. 1 pick in the 2007 NBA draft out of Ohio State. He missed his rookie season after have microfracture surgery on his right knee."
(link thanks to Adam)

Clowns are Scary

Yet another brilliant commercial:



No, it did not make me want to go to Walmart any more than usual (to capitalize on their unbeatably low prices*, obviously), but it did make me laugh.
So four points for you Walmart marketing! (You go Walmart marketing!)


*Note: No, I was not paid by Walmart for this post. I do love shopping there though...

Apple Announces the iPad

Available soon to meet all your iMenstruation needs!

I mean I understand where they got the name, and it's similarity to iPod, but it just sounds so much like a feminine sanitary napkin...

"Mr Jobs described the tablet as a "third category" between smartphones and laptops."

"Mr Jobs told an audience of journalists, analysts and industry peers that the device lets people "hold the whole web in your hands". 

"What this device does is extraordinary. It is the best browsing experience you have ever had," he said. 

The device has a 9.7-inch multi-touch display and Apple claim it has a battery life of 10 hours."
As with most Apple products, it sounds highly overrated and over-publicized. (CNN called it's announcement "Breaking News"). But I guess I'm also reporting on it, so I'm only making things worse...

Anyway, here's an actual picture of it:


I'll post a better image as soon as one is released.
A quick Google image search just resulted in all those terrible Apple-fanboy generated concept pictures.
(via BBC)


*Update*
Here's another picture from Gizmodo:

(Click for the full article/review)

Monday, January 25, 2010

In the News: January 25, 2010

Alright, let's get things started off with a bang!


Gary Coleman in jail over outstanding warrant
Yes, that Gary Coleman.

"Former child actor Gary Coleman remained in a Utah jail Monday after being booked on an outstanding arrest warrant relating to a domestic violence case, authorities said."

"Police visited Coleman's Santaquin City, Utah, home Sunday in response to a civil disturbance call, but no criminal charges were filed, a police spokeswoman said.


A computer check, however, revealed a misdemeanor failure to appear in court warrant for the former "Diff'rent Strokes" star stemming from a domestic violence incident last year, the spokeswoman said.


Coleman, 41, was arrested and booked without incident Sunday in the county jail in Spanish Fork, the spokesman said."

I think this is the best part:
"Coleman's mug shot released by the jail showed that he was "not too happy," Harris said."

He also said "if he ever get's out of here, you'll be sorry..."
(via CNN)


Moscow's Stray Dogs Evolving Greater Intelligence, Including a Mastery of the Subway
Am I the only one that thinks this is a bit scary?


"For every 300 Muscovites, there's a stray dog wandering the streets of Russia's capital. And according to Andrei Poyarkov, a researcher at the A.N. Severtsov Institute of Ecology and Evolution, the fierce pressure of urban living has driven the dogs to evolve wolf-like traits, increased intelligence, and even the ability to navigate the subway."

"Over that time, he observed the stray dog population lose the spotted coats, wagging tails, and friendliness that separate dogs from wolves, while at the same time evolving social structures and behaviors optimized to four ecological niches occupied by what Poyarkov calls guard dogs, scavengers, wild dogs, and beggars."

"The guard dogs follow around, and receive food from, the security personnel at Moscow's many fenced in sites. They think the guards are their masters, and serve as semi-feral assistants. The scavengers roam the city eating garbage. The wild dogs are the most wolf-like, hunting mice, rats, and cats under the cover of night.


But beggar dogs have evolved the most specialized behavior. Relying on scraps of food from commuters, the beggar dogs can not only recognize which humans are most likely to give them something to eat, but have evolved to ride the subway. Using scents, and the ability to recognize the train conductor's names for different stops, they incorporate many stations into their territories."
(via PopSci)


Experts: Sitting too much could be deadly
Time to find a new job...

A generic picture of a woman working in an office sitting 
at her desk typing on a computer. (Article's caption, not mine)

"Here's a new warning from health experts: Sitting is deadly. Scientists are increasingly warning that sitting for prolonged periods — even if you also exercise regularly — could be bad for your health. And it doesn't matter where the sitting takes place — at the office, at school, in the car or before a computer or TV — just the overall number of hours it occurs.

Research is preliminary, but several studies suggest people who spend most of their days sitting are more likely to be fat, have a heart attack or even die."

""After four hours of sitting, the body starts to send harmful signals," Ekblom-Bak said. She explained that genes regulating the amount of glucose and fat in the body start to shut down.

Even for people who exercise, spending long stretches of time sitting at a desk is still harmful."

""We don't have enough evidence yet to say how much sitting is bad," said Peter Katzmarzyk of the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge, who led the Canadian study. "But it seems the more you can get up and interrupt this sedentary behavior, the better.""
(link thanks to Dave H.)


Still craving more uplifting news?
------------Follow the break!------------


An Epic 'Save the Date'

By far the best 'Save the Date' notice I've seen.


(link thanks to Elizabeth)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Amy

Just saw this commercial during the Vikings/Saints game.

These 'Too Light/Too Hard' BudLight commercials are always pretty entertaining:

I would have assumed this came from the Japanese

The 'Cabbage Patch Kids' are now 'Cabbage Patch Teens'?

I feel awful just having looked at this...
But I did, and now you have to.
(via Pictures is Unrelated)

Guantanamo Bay Closing

Well, they're working on it at least.
President Obama's self-imposed deadline to close Guantanamo Prison, by January 22, 2010, has passed.
Several dozen prisoners were found new 'homes' in other countries and there are plans to move more.



However a report from the justice department advised that 47 prisoners be held indefinitely, without trial.

"It is thought to be the first time that officials have given a figure for those who might be held without charge."

"Congress has laid down that only those to be tried can be moved to US soil, so the question of what to do with those to be detained indefinitely without trial has yet to be resolved."

I'm sure there will be a lot more on this later, but I think this is pretty significant considering the fact that this is one of the issues Obama ran his campaign on.
(via BBC)

Friday, January 22, 2010

Song of the Moment: Train - Hey, Soul Sister

First time I heard it, I thought this song was a little annoying, but it's definitely grown on me.
Plus, they use a ukulele.

And the music video has some cool stop-motion graffiti animation.
Enjoy!

Friday Fails

Oh dear...

(via Failblog)

I don't know... I'd say 'Not having to find a babysitter Win'

Plus, the bears won't be able to get at him at night.
(via Failblog)

Awesome.

It sounds even better with a British accent.
(via Failblog)


------------More after the break!------------


Thursday, January 21, 2010

In the News: January 20, 2010

As usual, some of these are a bit old, but still relevant and interesting.

Today we have:

Pretty women anger more easily
More easily than regular women???

Oxford riot shield sledging police officers reprimanded
Apparently 'sledging' is British for 'sledding'

Cocaine Found In Space Shuttle Hangar
Let the 'high' jokes commence

More wives outearning their husbands
Time to find me one of those

The Ph.D. and wages
Being a student until you're 30 sounds like fun, but consider this...

Obama calls for bailout tax
Because someone has to pay

South Koreans told to go home and make babies
No joke.

and some bonus news!

------------All after the break!------------

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Vote Massachusetts!

Ladies and Gentlemen of Massachusetts,

Regardless of your political affiliation or beliefs, please do not forget to vote today!

And to explain the importance of the situation, here is Jon Stewart:
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Mass Backwards
www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor
Health Care Crisis
(link thanks to Seth)

"It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess, it's that the Republicans are playing chess and the Democrats are in the nurse's office because once again they glued their balls to their thighs."

Monday, January 18, 2010

Now Available on the Internet!: Sarcasm

A Michigan company has created a symbol to eliminate awkward responses to misinterpreted instant messages and emails!
Hooray! (Note: that was a sarcastic exclamation. I'm not really that excited about it. Now if only I had a way to signify that...)

Here it is.... Are you ready for it?

Ta da!

Yup. That's it. A malformed @ symbol, or SarcMark as it's been named.
And for the low price of $1.99 you can use it too!


The company even created a slogan:


I wonder how much money was pumped into this project....
That backwards apostrophe symbol (`) was probably created for free and how often does he get used?
You know, the one that shares a key with the tilde (~). Yea, he even gets his own key!

Well, if you really want it, you can purchase it here.
Maybe it'll get more popular, but I wont... hold my breath [sarcasm_symbol.jpg]
OK, this is stupid... I'll just stop there.
(via/blame Neatorama)

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Song of the Moment: Larry Platt - Pants on the Ground

The newest hit to come out of American Idol.

Mr. Larry Platt's Pants on the Ground:


I'll admit (without hesitation) that I did not watch this episode, but I saw a clip of it on a commercial during 24 last night.
Of course it was so catchy that the roommate and I had to look it up.

And in case you wanted to know what the lyrics were:
Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground
Lookin like a fool with you pants on the ground
Gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat looking like a fool
Walking down town
With your pants on the ground! 


------------Even Brett Favre loves it!------------

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Rapists Beware

This little device is a pretty ingenious contraption.
The Rape-aXe is a latex tube outfitted with a row of inward facing barbs meant to latch onto anything that entered.


In case it's not clear to some people as you how it would work: It would be placed inside a woman's vagina and when a would-be rapist inserted his penis, it would latch on and cause some serious pain.

They theory is that once the male is stunned (and probably screaming) the woman could get away. As the device is only surgically removable, the attacker would have to visit a medical facility, and thus be identified and turned in to the authorities.


It was invented in South Africa and, as far as I can tell, is only available there for the time being.
While inexcusable anywhere, that region has outrageously high rates of rape and abuse.
If it works as advertised, hopefully it will get wider attention and distribution in all high-risk areas around the world.

P.S. Gentlemen take note: Foreplay is not only fun, it will help prevent unfortunate surprises.
(via Neatorama)

Friday, January 15, 2010

dun dun dun dun er er er er ER ER ER ER ER

In case you didn't know, those are the "lyrics" to a very popular techno song.

I'm usually pretty good at the identify-the-song game, but this one had me stumped:


(link thanks to Mike)

------------Follow the break for the answer!------------

Bathroom Air Fresheners

I was in the men's room at work the other day and the smell was just atrocious. (Seriously, what are those engineers eating?)
One little squirt and the smell dissipated. (On some really bad days, two squirts are required).
These things are amazing!


The AutoFresh "Select" by TouchFree Concepts

I'm sure you've all seen them in public restrooms. The little white boxes that random squirt stuff at you.
They are life-savers. OK, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but they are nose-savers at the least.
Instead of covering your nose with your shirt or trying to hold your breath, you can breath easy!
I wonder how they work... Do they just inhibit the receptors in your nose?
(If anyone knows, please comment!)

There's my spiel on bathroom air fresheners.
Who's ready for lunch?!

Filmographic Friday

Apparently this is all the French got out of Star Wars:

Multiple, unsynchronized, Spandex-wearing C3POs and Darth Vaders.
(via Neatorama)

------------More vids after the break!------------


Thursday, January 14, 2010

Prettiest Girl on the Planet?

Here is a proper Photoshop job on Gizmodo (unlike this disaster from Boston.com).

What do you get when you combine sixteen of the most beautiful women on the planet?

Click image for larger view

As once comment said, apparently you get something that looks strangely like Olivia Wilde:
[prettiest_girl.JPG][Olivia_Wilde..jpg]
 (link thanks to Seth)

Judas never had these problems...



(via lamebook)

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Ode to Michael Cera

Well, it's really making fun of him more than a dedication... but I'm sure he appreciates the attention.

[cera_faces_final.jpg]
(link thanks to Adam)

------------Follow the break!------------
and learn how to make a Michael Cera movie!

Sleep Talkin' Man

Yet another blog to follow...
Some people are doubting its authenticity, but either way this might be the funniest thing I have ever read.



This English woman has been recording and writing up the crazy things her husband says in his sleep.

How on Earth could a sleeping man's ramblings be that interesting, you say?
Here are a few to get a sample:

"Sigh of a ninja."

 "Look. Look at my left foot. Look at my left foot. Smack you in the face!"

 "So this is what it feels like to be a gummy bear... I can't walk though, I have to rock... I think i'll call myself BerNARD. Not BERnard. BerNARD. And I'll be a golden gummy bear."

 "Of course the zombie loved me. She gave me her heart. Mmmmm-hmmm. And her hand in marriage."

 "I demand compensation in cola bottles. Lots of fizzy cola bottles. In one lump sum."

 "Since when did my underwear look good on you? Take it off. Take it off your face."

 "Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it'll have much more fun."

 [suddenly, upon waking] "Stop the panther!"

 "I can't control the kittens. Too many whiskers! Too many whiskers!"

"Legs time! Everybody get your legs!"

"Oompa loompas don't sing in heaven. They tidy up the clouds."

 "Well that's just great. Peanut butter in my crack. Goddamnit."

(Link thanks to Erin C)

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Wes Welker: And the case of the poor photoshop job

This isn't really a post about Wes Welker, nor is it about the article he's featured in.
No, this is a story about bad Photoshopping.

I initially clicked the story to read about how Wes still likes to help out his community despite the fact that he has a gimpy leg.
I didn't get past the picture:

Click image for larger view
Nothing appears to be wrong, right?

Well, the picture above replaced this poor fool's first attempt at Photoshop:
(I knew they would try to replace this 'retarded-half-brother' version, so I saved it to compare).

Click image for larger view
The black surrounding the people doesn't even match the original black background... It's like they didn't even try.
*edit* If you look closely, the banister is there (middle-left), so at least they didn't just cut/paste them onto a black background. Actually, maybe that would have been better... */edit*

Side by side:
[539w_original.jpg][539w_new.jpg]
(via Boston.com)

Netflix Rental Patterns

This is a pretty interesting map from the New York Times that shows rental patterns for Netflix movies in a few major urban zones.


(link thanks to Amanda)


------------Follow the break!------------
to see a few that I though were particularly interesting/funny

Avatar Blues

"James Cameron's completely immersive spectacle "Avatar" may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.

On the fan forum site "Avatar Forums," a topic thread entitled "Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible," has received more than 1,000 posts from people experiencing depression and fans trying to help them cope."

I know our society is getting soft, but this is just ridiculous.
People claim they are becoming depressed after watching Avatar. Why? Because comparing this 'dying' world to Pandora is just too much for them to handle. Apparently they can't distinguish the difference between the real world and a movie.


Behold, James Cameron's army of mindless zombies.

Here are a couple posts on the site:

"A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site "Naviblue" that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.
"Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it," Mike posted. "I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in 'Avatar.' " "

"Ivar Hill posts to the "Avatar" forum page under the name Eltu. He wrote about his post-"Avatar" depression after he first saw the film earlier this month.
"When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed ... gray. It was like my whole life, everything I've done and worked for, lost its meaning," Hill wrote on the forum. "It just seems so ... meaningless. I still don't really see any reason to keep ... doing things at all. I live in a dying world.""

Sad.
(via CNN)

*Note: To be clear, I am not making light of the medical condition of depression. I am making fun of how disconnected from reality these people seem to be.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Lamebook "Liked"

I decided to change the formatting of my posts a little bit to keep everything cleaner and more compact.
Entries will only display one story/picture in front, the rest will be after the break.

Here's the goody that's front page worthy:

("Pink")


------------More after the break!------------

Go Go Power Rangers!

This has been circling around the interwebs for a while, but for those of you that have missed it:

Zordon is a Racist.

(link thanks to Mike)

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Friday, January 8, 2010

The Sorcerer's Apprentice

I was flipping through Apple.com trailers when I saw this:

Thinking, "Oh this is great. I loved that cartoon with Mickey in Fantasia".

Nope.
It's Disney alright, but there is definitely no Mickey...


I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Song of the Moment: Low vs Diamond - Heart Attack

I first heard about the band from Rainn Wilson. Yes, 'Dwight' from The Office. We're best buds.

I'm actually real good friends with Rainn Wilson, but here's possible version of what happened...
I was checking out the NBC site to try and find out when the next new episode would be (by the way, does anyone know?) and I saw the little Twitter gadget they have that posts tweets from the cast/crew.
The latest one was from Rainn Wilson, noting that he was a fan of the song 'Don't Forget Sister' by Low vs Diamond, prompting me to check them out.

'Don't Forget Sister' is decent, but I like 'Heart Attack' a lot more.


Enjoy!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

In the News: January 4, 2010

First news update of the new decade and there are some crazy stories out there...


BeautifulPeople.com axes holiday weight gain members
They mean it when they say "beautiful people". 


"Dating and social network site BeautifulPeople.com has axed some 5,000 members following complaints that they had gained weight.


The members were singled out after posting pictures of themselves that reportedly showed they had put on pounds over the holiday period."

""As a business, we mourn the loss of any member, but the fact remains that our members demand the high standard of beauty be upheld," said site founder Robert Hintze.


"Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded.""
^ I know it's just started, but I nominate this as Quote of the Decade for a Business Model.



Iran soccer chief apologizes for Israel greeting


Ali Kaffashian, seen here in 2008, said the New Year's 
e-mail to Israel's soccer federation was "a big mistake."

"The head of Iran's soccer federation issued a public apology and a member of his staff resigned after the federation mistakenly sent a New Year's greeting to its counterpart in Israel, Iranian officials announced Sunday."

I imagine the card would read something similar to this:
"Dear Jews,

Merry Christmas!
But we would still like to wipe your country off the face of the Earth.

Love,
Iran
"


Best man pulls gun, robs DJ at wedding reception

"Houston police have been trying to track down a wedding party member who allegedly pulled a gun at the reception and started shooting."

"Everything went off without a hitch, police said, until the best man decided to rob the DJ.


"He steps back, takes it [the gun] and then shoots it in the air," said Kendrick Shepherd, the wedding DJ. "And then comes and pushes me, grabs it and runs out the door and I’m like, did that just happen?"


Shepherd said the suspect grabbed an expensive crystal decanter full of liquor and fled."

"They have wedding photos of the suspect whose name, according to the newlyweds, is Johnny Smith.


But the groom told investigators he barely knows the guy. He said he was a last-minute replacement for his cousin, who backed out."

Unbelievable.
(via Neatorama)


Follow the break for more!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Saturday, January 2, 2010

New Year, Same Blog

Happy New Year!

Here's a quick post to ring in the new year.

Hopefully this was not you yesterday:

(via failblog)


New 'blasphemy law' goes into effect on January 1st in Ireland
I didn't even know people still used the word blasphemy in the Western world...

"An Irish atheist group has published a series of quotations on religion in an attempt to challenge a blasphemy law that went into effect on New Year's Day.


The 25 "blasphemous" quotations include the words of Jesus, Mohammed, Mark Twain, Salman Rushdie and Bjork.

Atheist Ireland published the list on its Web site Friday. It says it aims to challenge the law, which makes blasphemy a crime punishable by a €25,000-($35,800) fine."

"A person breaks the law by saying or publishing anything "grossly abusive or insulting in relation to matters held sacred by any religion, thereby causing outrage among a substantial number of the adherents of that religion."

Those found guilty of breaking the blasphemy law may try to defend themselves by proving that a reasonable person would find literary, artistic, political, scientific or academic value in what they said or published, the law says."
(via CNN)


Top 25 Pop Songs of 2009
Annual mash up from DJ Earworm:

(via TBT)


This has nothing to do with the New Year at all, but still funny:

(via Passive Aggressive Notes)